It's the second installment of our Bosom Week series and today we're discussing the ins and outs (or maybe better put, the ups and downs!) of bra fit.

Lift  and love, ladies.  Don't shift and shove.
Sculpt and tease.  Don't heave and squeeze.

If there's one thing I've learned so far on this quest it's that the size on the tag doesn't matter.  Fit is everything.

Here are the 2 key points to remember:

1. The band should be SNUG.
2. The cups should HUG.
   

Let's expand on Point 1, because this one is the most crucial, and according to a zillion sources, the one where we women are making the biggest mistakes.

Snug means the band should run horizontally from the bottom of the cup to the back clasp.  And when it's new, it should do this on the loosest hooks so that you can maintain the fit as the bra ages by tightening the hooks. If your band is too big it will ride up in the back.  As soon as that happens, the support is lost and the bra is a failure.
If you've been wearing loose bras for a long time that snug fit that's correct might feel weird or uncomfortable.  Give it a week!  You'll quickly find that having properly supported breasts with nice shape is much more comfortable than sagging free.

When I started trying on my existing bras, I was shocked to find that even on the tightest hooks, most of them rode up in back.  I'd put them on, turn to the side, and whoops! - a nice diagonal line from the bottom of the cup up to the hooks. And it wasn't because I had the straps cinched too tight.

Hook your thumb under the clasp of your bra and pull it away from your back.  You should not be able to pull the back of the bra more than an two or so inches away from your body.  If you can't pull it at all, it's too small. Snug doesn't mean tight. You should be able to slide a finger or two under the band all along the sides and back.

Almost all the support should come from the band and cups, NOT from the straps.  Many women keep tightening their straps to lift their breasts when in reality, the band and cups should be handling that job.  According to Intimacy (the miracle-working bra specialists frequently showcased on What Not To Wear) 90% of the support should come from the band, and only 10% from the straps. But it's hard to gauge whether your band is doing 90% of the work.  We might think it's doing 90% when in reality it's more of a 60/40 split, or worse. 

A good hug goes all the way around.  Applying that concept to the underwire of the cup means it should "smile" all the way around the bottom of your breast.  One end should sit under your arm, slightly behind the breast so that it doesn't dig into the breast.  The other end should stop between both breasts.  And it should lay flat against your ribcage, not flat against the bottom of your boob.  At no point should it gap away from your ribcage or sternum.  If it does, it's too small.

That was another mistake I was making.  The cups were too small on many of my bras, with the underwires tilting away and starting somewhere in the side of my breasts, instead of flat under my arm.

The cups should not gap, pucker, pull, or create quadra-boobs.  You shouldn't swim in them nor bulge out of them.  The style of the bra will have much to do with this (which we'll discuss in the next post).  If the band and underwire fit you well, but the cups don't, try a different style of cup; full coverage, balconet, demi, angled, etc.   Here's a nice little video covering the finer points of good bra fit.

Fact: Most women are wearing band sizes too large and cup sizes too small. 

Join me for the next post in the series when we'll talk about color, calculators, and reconciling style vs size!

Here are today's links:
1. The Top 10 Bra Mistakes at Intimacy.
2. A nice Full Experience bra fit video from Bravissimo in England.

*Eternal Voyager, whose Bra Matrix I linked yesterday, let me know she would be happy to answer any questions about bras, fitting and breasts through her blog.  She's done a lot of research on the Bra Matrix and I've learned a lot from her.

Bosom Week has arrived! 
I've been looking forward to this series of posts for a while and am anxious to exchange information on a feminine issue we all face. 

Like many women before me, I embarked upon a quest to find the perfect bra. 
Not that there is only one perfect bra manufactured out there somewhere, but the perfect bra for me.  I am still on that quest and I want to share with you what I've discovered so far.  Like me, you will probably already know some of this, but hopefully you'll learn something new.

Today, we're going to examine the reasons WHY women need a good bra, and part of what that entails.

That's not a happy breast on that left side.  Down and out is not a good description on any terms. 
 - Proper support helps preserve breast fullness and firmness while preventing back pain and poor posture. 
 - Proper shaping helps more than just the look of the breast.  As you can see on the "before" side, the breast has sagged low on the ribcage - encroaching on the smallest part of the woman's body.  Any woman will look better if she can keep the area from the bottom of her breasts to her waist as long and lean as possible.  This is a crucial style tip!  The only difference in the two halves of the above picture is an ill-fitting bra vs a well-fitting bra.  She looks 20 lbs thinner and significantly taller in the "after" half. 
In the next post in this series we'll go in-depth into how a bra should fit to properly shape and support your bosom buddies.

I love the video clips from Cold Comfort Farm I presented at the beginning of this post.  The fact that it was just as crucial in Elfine's makeover to get her "a bit of uplift" as it was to get her educated.  Once you learn what to look for in a great bra, it'll be easy to weed out the sagging from the supportive.  You won't waste money on bras that just sit in your drawer and you'll look much leaner, shapelier, and more youthful under your clothes. 

Please share your experiences and advice!  How did you find your great bras?  Or are you still struggling against the sag?

Throughout this series I'll be posting links to other useful or humorous bra-related sites.  Here are today's:
1.  An absolutely hysterical and informative look at breaking out of the Bra Matrix! 
2.  A rant against the fitters!

Want to have some fun on this week?  Head over to The Dress-up Drawer for an amazing week of reader-favorite giveaways!  I just discovered this cute little blog and have been amazed by the wonderful giveaways from all the talented people.  From cute, to stylish, to sweet-smelling - there is something for everyone, especially the mom set!
Have fun!!  (just don't win the ones I want to!)

I have been remiss, people.  And I apologize.

How could I not have featured Diane Keaton before this moment? 
I KNOW she's championed the modest wardrobe for decades upon decades. 
I KNOW she does it in her own unique way. 
What I don't know is why I was so slow to feature her in Modest Moments.

Now I don't always agree with Ms. Keaton's fashion choices.  Sometimes she's quite literally covered from head, to fingertip, to toe.  But in the world of barely-there, see-through dresses held on with tape to cover ones unmentionables, she is a bright and shining star.  She doesn't make excuses for her style and she never looks trampy or trashy.

From Annie Hall to the Modest Hall of Fame - Diane Keaton stands triumphant.  I applaud her dedication.  I'm quite certain she's been approached by scads of designers wanting to dress her in something more "fashionable" (aka more revealing) and the woman has a great body that could wear pretty much anything she wanted. 
But she remains true to herself.  Chic.  Modest.  Quirky.  Fabulous. 

A:  Excellent questions both!  To which I offer the following answers and examples.

First, the Why.  Everyone needs in their closet the "instant elegant outfit."  Something you can put on and never have to question how nice you look.  Because this outfit must be appropriate for all occasions it has to be a versatile.  Versatile is easiest when it's in the form of a neutral base that can be accessorized a million different ways.  Black is universally flattering - every woman in the world can wear it in some way or another and look lovely.  It's the perfect backdrop to anything you'd like to do with it.  And no, it doesn't have to be "little". 

Coco Chanel created the LBD (little black dress) around 1926, officially premiering it in Vogue that year.  Her design was only "little" in the sense of "simple".  It was actually very modest - calf length, long sleeved and trim fitting but not skin tight, with virtually no embellishment.  Until that point, all-black clothing was mainly reserved for funerals and periods of mourning.  It tended to be long and stuffy.  Her simple design, dubbed "Chanel's Ford" because it was versatile and intended for every woman, like the Model T for every driver, was simultaneously a revolution and instant classic.


It's nearly impossible to find pictures of Coco wearing the dress, but I found the one above that someone took with a stuffed monkey.

Second, the Personalization.  In answer to your other question, I offer the many examples below.  (Click the images to enlarge.)  The LBD you choose should a) speak to your social life and b) reflect your personal taste.  For example, if your social life consists of lots of fancy dinner parties with your husband's company and clients AND you like a dash of retro, you might choose something like the dress on the far right below.

If your social engagements tend to be more casual (dinner here and there, a movie, but maybe the ballet occasionally) and you like something sleek you might choose one of the short sleeved options below, or the wrap dress on the right.  

You can find everything from a vintage party dress to something very avant garde.  Embellished to the hilt or a blank canvas.  Personally, I think Coco had it right.  The more simple the dress, the more versatile it is.  You can throw a colored cardigan over a simple jersey LBD, add some flats and head out to run errands.  Swap the cardigan for sparkly accessories and the flats for heels and you're good to go for date night. I have two in my closet. A simple matte jersey wrap dress that gets the most use, and a fancier, layered chiffon dress for really special events.

If you noticed, I offered up only modest options.  And I wanted to showcase a few below from Shabby Apple.  For being a small boutique shop, their selection of LBD's is nicely varied to fit many tastes.  And all are modest without you having to modify.

So yes, whether it sweeps the floor in satin drama... or kisses the ground with bohemian relaxation, you need one of these dresses.  Take your time. (You didn't have it yesterday so you don't need it tomorrow.)  Enjoy the process. (Your perfect LBD match is out there!)  Buy the best you can afford. (This is most definitely an investment item!)
  And once you have it - WEAR IT! Wear it often, wear it well.

Here's the code you need for button 1, above:

Here's the code you need for button 2, above:

Is part of your wardrobe hidden from view?  Are some of your beauties banished to the backs of overstuffed drawers?  Do you know where your t-shirts are?  Do you? 
Do you know how many you REALLY have?

I was recently reorganizing a closet and as I was shifting and shuffling I kept hearing, "I just need something to go under/with that."  When I moved to the bottom two drawers of a large dresser, I found a treasure trove of perfect under/with items. In shock I cried,
"The t-shirts must be liberated!"
The drawers were well organized and quite full.  I'd found a stash of coverage T's, tanks, and camisole basics in a wide range of solid colors to complement and create dozens of outfits.  I pulled them all out and hung each in it's proper place among it's similarly-colored siblings.

I have become a firm believer that you should see as much of your wardrobe as possible and so I propose that you hang up as much of your clothing as you safely can.  (We'll talk about the safety issue in a minute.) I've seen many a closet where the owner said, "This is 'all' I have (except the five drawers of jeans, pants, leggings, tees and camisoles) and I just can't do much with it."  Many years ago, mine was one of them.

To Hang or Not To Hang
That is the question, here are two really good answers-

1. You'll save money.  If you can't see it, you'll probably end up buying another one you don't need.  Or another 4 or 5 after you put the new one in the same drawer as the first one.
2. You'll create better outfits.  If you can't see it, you probably won't use it.  Seeing all your options allows for more creativity and inspiration than trying to remember what you have.

How and What to Hang
Nearly all clothes can be safely hung.  We're talking the safety of your clothes here, not you. 

• Sweaters should never be hung.  Even on padded hangers, gravity pulls at the weave on the neckline and shoulders and eventually, they lose their shape permanently.
• Hang all your dresses and shirts- be they button down, blouse, or T.  I hate wire hangers (no movie reference intended) and hang nearly everything on plastic hangers.  Wire hangers create sharp points in clothing and have no "hanging aides" like notches, or hooks.  If the item is of a slinky material or has a wide neckline that tends to slide off, either use the hanging loops (if they're there), slip the short sleeve up into the notch on the hanger arm, or use non-slip hangers that are covered in a grippy, velvety material.
• Use pant hangers for all pants and skirts.  If you have the space, you can follow a tip I once received from a store manager - hang dress pants full-length from their ankles and folded along the crease.  The weight of the top of the pants will gently pull out any wrinkles as the pants hang in the closet.   
• Jeans are your choice.  I don't hang the few pairs of jeans and shorts I have because I have open shelving in my closet and can easily see them.  The only other items I don't hang are underwear, bras, pajamas, and hosiery. 
• Blazers and sport- and suit coats require special hangers.  They are curved to preserve the line of the jacket and look like this.
  

If you're anything like me, you get the urge to purge around this time of year.  Fresh start, new resolutions, a jump on spring cleaning, putting away all the Christmas stuff so might as well reorganize while I'm here... that sort of thing.  An excellent place to channel that energy is into your closet, if it isn't already lovely.  Here's a little more inspiration. 

I'd never want to clean the house that goes with this size of closet, but I love the openness.  The view-ability.  And if you'd like to make this a more stylish year getting your clothes out in the open and organized will be a big step toward achieving that goal.
You'll be happier when you see it and more excited to get dressed.  

You have probably never heard of the Crillon Ball.  Most debutante balls have sadly disappeared but this elite little shin dig for the upper echelon of teenage society is still held at the fantastic Crillon Hotel on the Place de la Concorde in Paris.  You have to be invited to come and once you are one of a number of the worlds top design houses will provide a stunning dress for you to wear at the ball.  And your tuxedo wearing escort, aka "Cavalier", who knows how to walz, will also be provided.  Not a bad way for a girl to spend an evening, eh?

I wanted to showcase the ball because the last couple of years Chanel has created modest gowns for their debs to wear.  Take a look.

This is Phil Collins's daughter, Lily, who wore Chanel in 2007.  I couldn't find a better picture but this absolutely gorgeous gown is adorned with wispy feathers.  Dreamy!

Please note that only ONE other girl in this group photo has on a modest dress, the deep purple gown on the far left.  Oh, and the debutante in pink giving Lily the jealous look?  That's a Brazilian named Maria Frering.  Looks like she's a little miffed she wasn't the one seated in the middle.  But that Chanel gown was meant to take center stage.  No question.

This is Jane Aldridge, an up and coming teen style icon from Dallas, TX, who was also outfitted by Chanel for this years ball.  Apparently the beading made the gown weigh a ton but she said it was more than worth it.  The photo above is from one of her fittings at Coco's famous 31 Rue Cambon address, afterwhich she and her family were given a tour of Coco's apartment.  Yes, I'm a little jealous.

This was a shot of Jane heading down the hotel hallway to the ball. 

I prefer the dress from 2007 but that's because I have an overdeveloped romantic side.  I said a while back that finding modest evening wear was always the most challenging but thanks to the House of Chanel, I'm able to start the year off with two stunning gowns!

I had a wonderful Christmas and we're still enjoying my husband's vacation time.  I hope your holiday was peaceful and joyful as well. I figured it was time for another post and I tried to kick my brain into a creative gear. 
Nothing happened. I thought, "But I want to post something profound and perfect."  Bupkis. 
Could it be that my 2 year old not sleeping in her travel bed AT ALL during this vacation has sapped me of all my zest for style?  Maybe.  I'm pretty sapped. 
Nothing percolated to the top of my conscience.   
Finally, when I couldn't come up with something "profound and perfect", I was inspired by my mother.  We were going through her closet.  She recently lost some weight and many things no longer fit her so we were clearing those items out and reorganizing her closet.  Pretty much heaven for me.  It's one of my favorite pastimes. 
During the shifting, shuffling, trying on and rehanging, I reminded her several times of the two cardinal criteria she is to apply to any future shopping trips:

Does this item fill a hole in my wardrobe or replace a worn out/ill fitting item? 
If the answer to those questions is no - she doesn't need it right now.  And the topic for this post was born.  Many of us were probably given cash/gift cards for Christmas that we are about to start shopping with.  Maybe for clothes. 
As we did with my mothers closet today, a smart way for you to go about any future shopping is to take a serious inventory of everything you have and make a little list of the holes in your wardrobe you would like to fill.  Take it with you when you shop. 
Just as a grocery list helps you focus your efforts and save money when shopping for food (avoiding those unnecessary impulse buys) a style list helps do the same when you're clothing shopping.  You probably won't need a list to spot the items similar to the ones you love to wear right now.  But if you already have five white t-shirts hanging in your closet... you don't need another one.  If you have one black t-shirt that is faded and pilled... replace it.  And by replace I mean REPLACE.  When you get home, you throw out (or donate) the old item. 
An overstuffed wardrobe does not a great wardrobe make.
I hope this little tip is useful and makes your shopping trips this year more successful, culminating in better style and happier dressing. 
And let's all repeat it again, just for good measure -
1.  Fill A Hole
2.  Replace