There are a few things you learn real quick as a mother.  First, ALWAYS prep and load your wipees.  Babies have lightening fast hands and feet.  There are few things more annoying in the diapering world than reaching for a wipee to clean up the messy diaper only to discover zero wipees sticking out of the dispenser. Since one hand is holding the kicking legs in the air, your other hand must fish for the end of the top wipee.  One of two things will then happen.  You'll either knock the whole dispenser off the changing table and perfectly out of reach or you'll pull on the wipee and it won't disconnect, dragging 50 more wipees out behind it. Prep and load! Pull out one wipee, making sure the second is also tufting out, and set the first wipee on top.

The second thing you learn is that time is not your friend.  Meal times come way too fast.  You rarely get the food prepped before the fussing begins. You never play with them long enough. They never sleep long enough.  There are never enough hours in the day.  And they grow up way too fast.  Most anything you do for yourself must be done extremely quickly and efficiently.  And I'll bet by now you're wondering what this has to do with good style.  Let me explain.  No, too long.  Let me sum up.  (movie?)

Style Assassins can be subtle.  And they can have nothing to do with clothes and accessories.  I'm talking about these.
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Ok.  I wanted to scare you straight with that first picture.  Most women aren't this bad.  More like this.
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Or this.  Look familiar?
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Why bother writing about this particular style assassin during the season you're least likely to wear sandals?  Because now is the perfect time to winterize your feet! 
This is one of those projects when a little time is definitely all you need. 
Not money.  Not tons of fancy products.  Time. 
Time and 2 steps.
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Step 1 - File every time you shower
Sometimes you'll have time to do a thorough job, other times you'll only have 5 seconds to run a quick swipe over your heels.  That's ok.  Be gentle.  Don't forget the callouses on the balls of your feet and big toe and don't get discouraged when the cracks don't disappear instantly.  Exfoliating becomes much more efficient after several moisturizing sessions.

This is the foot file hanging in my shower right now.  It's $2.00.  It has a rough and less-rough side, just like a nail file.  I bought it because it's the file nearly every pedicurist ever used on me.  Speaking of which, next time you get a pedicure, ask if you can keep the one they used on you.  Many state laws require the to salon throw the file away after each client. The one you buy at a beauty supply store will most likely be a little thicker than the one you take from the salon.
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Step 2 - Moisturize every time you wear socks

I read this little tip in a Shape magazine eons ago and it has meant the world of difference for my feet.  Slather on a good goopy layer before you pull on socks (not nylon stockings).  Don't worry, it won't soak through and ruin your shoes.  Do this whether you're running a quick errand, heading to the gym for a workout or not even leaving the house.  Keep the bottle of moisturizer in your sock drawer so you don't forget.

This is the moisturizer currently in my sock drawer.  My mom introduced it to me.  It's cheap and works great.  And don't wash the extra off your hands!  I don't like to get the bottle and my sock slimy so after slathering one foot, I rub the extra into my knees.  Then I pull my sock on.  After the other foot I rub the extra into my elbows.  While thicker is better, especially if it's formulated to exfoliate, most any moisturizer will do.  Maybe you have some body lotion you didn't really like the scent of.  Use it up on your heels! 
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A couple additional tips?  You don't have to buy some of the crazy expensive products out there. 

I've seen special heel creams topping $30. Most women don't need it.  And these Bliss moisturizing socks are $48 dollars!  Whether they're miracle workers or not I have a whole winter ahead of me and many better uses for $48.
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I was once given some moisturizing booties and gloves like this.  They're just really stretchy socks that hold in the lotion and are technically meant to be slept in, but that drove me crazy.  If you can sleep in socks, do that.  The uninterrupted moisturizing hours will work wonders on your feet.  I save my socks for those times I'm going out, will be wearing open-heeled shoes, and am taking more time to get ready.  I moisturize and slip them on right after my shower and wear them until I put my shoes on.
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Now go forth and conquer those cracked heels!  Your younger looking feet will return the favor.  (Cracked heels age you quickly.) You'll confidently slip on that first pair of sandals in spring and have a much easier time maintaining your smooth soles next summer.
 
 
On November 4 The Sartorialist posted this photo of two women in Milan.
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The Sartorialist - Via Verri Milano
I was awestruck.  Just look at them!  Click on the photo to make it larger and look at them some more.  These women are fabulous incarnate.  The antithesis of matronly.  The embodiment of sophisticated style and confidence.  They're clearly beyond their 40's.  I'd guess the one on the left is in her 60's and the one on the right in her 50's.  Considering how timeless they look, and judging only by their wonderful faces, they could be respectively in their 70's and 60's for all I know!

I want to look like this when I'm their age!  I absolutely adore this photo.  It's such an inspiration and it makes me smile. 
I can perfectly picture the withering look these two would give if you tried to convince them to wear a holiday sweater.  Or Mom Jeans. Or those high waisted pleated polyester pants that you never see in stores until you're over 70. 

Part of looking like this obviously means I'll have to visit Italy many more times.  Soaking up style works better on-location.  That's why I have my sister who speaks fluent Italian.  Britt- pack your bags!  We're going shopping!
 
 
In case you own a holiday sweater (or heaven forbid, MULTIPLE holiday sweaters), this is your wake up call!  Your call to repent.  Your call to action. 

Please raise your right hand and repeat after me:
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"I will not wear holiday sweaters this or any future year.
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I will not voluntarily assassinate my own style.
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I realize I am over the age of 5 and will not attempt to dress like my toddler.
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I will not offend the eyes of my fellow joyous citizens who I may pass by.
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Should I be lucky enough to reach an old age when I am dressed by someone else,
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and that someone attempts to dress me in a holiday sweater,
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I will protest to my last breath.
And whack them with my cane."
These are the only folks allowed to wear holiday sweaters.  If you don't fit into one of these two groups, put the sweater down.
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With one possible exception... The Ugly Holiday Sweater Party.  These little shindigs have been gaining in popularity in recent years and frankly, I think it's worth keeping around one of these monstrosities.  If you don't see one of these parties on the horizon - throw your own!  It'll be worth it to see these things come out of the woodwork on your friends and neighbors.  Where else are you going to get to cherish moments like this one...
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just one of the many party images to be found
My family used to carol on Christmas Eve in snowman motif sweaters.  Many of us got married, leaving too few sweaters on hand, and so they were mercifully replaced with matching scarves. 

By the way, if you want to have a little fun, check out virtual holiday sweaters.  Spread some joy with a little competition to see who can come up with the ugliest design!
 
 
Q:  Yikes! I am turning 50! What is off limits for a 5'8" and rather slender and mature-- never mind the mature part, change it to immature lady?

Well, Happy Birthday!  50 is the new 40, you know.  And in your lucky case, probably the new 35!  You ask a great question that too many people don’t ask until they’re already looking frumpy and grumpy or even worse, are deep into trashy territory.  

Two things will age you faster than the sun – Mom Jeans and dumpy shoes.  If either of these style assassins currently resides in your closet then part of your 50th birthday present to yourself should be to replace them.  So with that said, let’s list the most important things to know.

Off Limits:

  1. Mom Jeans.  It bears repeating!  Please refer to the Mom Jeans post for why and what to replace them with. 
  2. Dumpy shoes. I worked with a woman a few years ago who we all thought “looked good for almost 60” and she was actually 43!!  Her frumpy clothes and hairstyle added about 10 years but the real nail in her coffin was her shoes.  She wore black granny shoes with Velcro straps! You know the ones – laces for nurses, Velcro straps for grannies but otherwise the same.   At the Christmas party, I saw her in a lovely pair of pumps and excitedly declared that she should wear them more often.  Her answer was that her “comfy shoes are just so hard to give up.”  Too that I say, “Then don’t start!” Until your feet declare war on every other type of shoe avoid anything remotely granny or nurse-like.  Keep the heels as long as you possibly can!  At 5’8” they don’t have to be super high to have impact.  Incorporate flats in fun colors.  Modern sleek sneakers (think Puma!) in fantastic colors.  If ever there was a time to choose sleek, fun, statement-making shoes, it’s now!
  3. Holiday sweaters.  Strictly verboten for everyone over the age of 10.  Revisit these when you’re 80!  (I’ll still say no, but we can revisit them!)
  4. Too-long hemlines.  Too short is probably not an issue.  For most modest dressers, the hemlines are too long.  And especially as we get older, those hemlines should hit that knee!!  It’s elegant, ageless, and extremely leg flattering.  Don’t worry about buying all new skirts.  Most long ones can be hemmed up to the better length. 
  5. Anything baggy.  From here on out it’s all about shape!  Get it, create it, fake it.  Whatever it takes.  For some odd reason, the older people get, the more shapeless their clothes become.  So, no oversize blazers, boxy tops, shapeless sweaters and dresses, etc.
  6. Anything with shoulder pads.  If the pads can be removed without the garment losing shape, fine.  If not – consider the item donated.
  7. Overly tweezed eyebrows.  Pencil thin or drawn on eyebrows are detrimental to looking fresh.  Fuller, well-shaped brows are much more youthful.  There are about a million tutorials out there on how to shape and tweeze your eyebrows but it’s not rocket science.  Click here for a general step-by-step. Another tip for filling them in – use powder!!  I like Stila Brow Sets myself (check them out here).  Powder is by far easier to apply and looks much more natural than pencil.  Stila makes super easy to use sets and they last forever!!
  8. Retro trends from your childhood.  This is a tricky area.  It can look great because you have original pieces or it can look like you never grew up.  If I’d grown up in the 40’s and 50’s say, I’d absolutely want to pull out my full skirts and nip-waisted shirt dresses and join the current trend, upstaging the newbies on the street with my originals.  But I might look a little silly.  My formative fashion years, however, were the 80’s, so I’ll never know the joy or trauma of fashion revisited.  Peg leg jeans and parachute pants didn’t look good the first time and never will.  There is merit to the adage, “If you wore it the first time around, you can’t when it comes around again.” 
  9. Dark lipstick.  It can so easily draw attention to the fine lines around the mouth.  Pale pinks and peaches (NOT lighter than your natural lip color) with some gloss will always look youthful.
  10. Old lady swimsuits.  That would be anything with a skirt attached! A classic one piece with bust shaping and support is the only way to go.
  11. No flannel nightgowns!  Not that the rest of us are going to see it – but your husband will.  And you will.  PJ’s are the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning.  Bookending your days like that leaves an impression.  Even Victoria’s Secret makes cute pj sets with short-sleeved t’s and fun printed bottoms.  And whip out the sexy lingerie every once in a while!  
Must Haves:
  1. Really great bras!  No matter how large or small the cup size – gravity will do a number on those girls!  Lift ‘em and love ‘em!  Find a nice, shape-enhancing bra with underwire and BUY SEVERAL!
  2. A great pair of dark wash trouser jeans.  Have I made the point yet?  At your height, watch out for short jeans.  When standing barefoot the jeans should just touch the ground.  That length lets you wear them with flats as well as heels.
  3. A splash of current trends. Wearing 20-year old clothes when you’re 50… makes you look 60.  And trashy.  As a slender woman you still have the figure to wear anything you want so keep up with the trends – just a bit. Never updating your wardrobe or incorporating anything new will backfire on you as well.
  4. Keep what you love – tweak how you wear it. Don’t lose the things that are unique to your personality.  For example, if your whole life you loved leopard print – just don’t wear it all over.  Refine it to shoes or a scarf.  If your signature color is pink – ditch the track suit from earlier years and get a nice, sleek, v-neck tee in that color instead.
  5. Break up the structured suit occasionally.  You probably have one.  It’s more timeless to pair the jacket with jeans and the skirt with a twinset or more casual top.  You want to keep folks guessing about your age.
  6. Don’t be afraid of brights!  Senior-citizen pastels (you know the shades when you see them!) start to creep into wardrobes at about this age.  Brighter colors will provide more contrast for your skin and hair, keeping you fresh and bringing out your eyes.

For more tips and tricks, there are two books on this subject that get quoted all the time; Charla Krupp’s anti-aging bible, How Not To Look Old and Style Evolution: How to Create Ageless Personal Style in your 40’s and Beyond by Kendall Farr.  Kendall’s I haven’t read yet but Charla’s is great. It’s chock full of pictures clearly illustrating the points she’s making and it’s a fun read.  Your library should have both.

You know what will probably keep you young the longest – that “immature” streak you mentioned. Saucy and sassy are key elements to style. If only everyone could stay fun as they age.  It would keep us all so vibrant.  Never lose that part of you and you’ll be in great shape.