One night during this Thanksgiving break, my husband and I were snuggled in bed unwinding from the day. An L.L. Bean catalog had mysteriously arrived and so we decided to flip through it and play the "you have to pick one thing from every page" game. You know that game? If it's a good catalog, picking one thing can be a hard decision. With other catalogs it's a question of the lesser of many evils and you start cracking up about having to actually have/wear the items.
As we were flipping, I was appalled at the barrage of unflattering pants I was seeing on the pages. The stores I shop and recommend rarely carry these wretched styles so I've often asked, "Where are people still finding these?" I now know at least one. L.L. Bean.
There were some nice winter-wear options sprinkled around but always interspersed by these sorry excuses for pants.
Take one glance at this photo and just try and tell me she looks good. This is obviously a skinny model and that high waist and tapered leg are so unflattering! Her legs look stubby and from crotch to waistband is frighteningly long!
Just imagine how much worse it is on an average shaped body.
An elasticized waist, people! What in the name of all that's fashionable!?!? What designer is so out of touch that they actually continue to make these? And who are the half-wit buyers who keep stocking them?
Here are the Top 5 -
Tim Gunn is especially outspoken against crop pants, particularly the kind with wide leg openings. He points out that they make your legs look short and that's never a good thing. If you do want to sport a cropped pant (and I think they can be cute if the style is right) choose a more tailored fit with slim leg openings. And opt for high heels to keep the leg line long and counterpoint the cropped style.
Shorts can be cute and I definitely appreciate them in the summer but the longer the leg inseam, the more tailored the fit needs to be. Like the pair below, choose a slim fit (no pleats!) to keep the waist, hips, and legs long and lean.
Here's a much more flattering shorts option.
Thought I'd show you the picture again, in case the first one didn't scare you straight. For a tutorial on how to avoid looking like this, visit the Mom Jeans post. And please, if these are your only jeans... write a letter to Santa. Leave him gourmet cookies.
While compiling this list I realized that I had not one but two very oversized sweatshirts in my closet. They were the perfect additions to our 72 hour kits. (reduce-reuse-recycle!) Swap these figure squashers for the more flattering layered look. A cozy cardigan over a slim t-shirt is infinitely more stylish and won't add visual pounds.
Oh, stay-tuned, my stylish friends. I have a whole fabulous tutorial on bras coming your way. For now I'll just say, if you look like the left half of this picture, something is wrong with your bra, not your boobs.